Should Video Games be adapted into films? This is a question that has plagued us for years. From Street Fighter to MK: Annihilation to Every Uwe Boll adaptation in existence, Video Game movies have done nothing over the years but let us down. Now a film has been made based off of the successful Tekken Franchise and much to my surprise it was pretty damn good. It wasn't very faithful to the source material of the game but can you think of one adaptation that was? Tekken is actually a damn good action film that delivers a lot of heart and some rather unique fight sequences.
The setting of Tekken is a ravaged, in the near future, Earth that is recovering from a time known as the Terror Wars. The governments of the world have been extinguished and are now divided into sectors, each controlled by one of the six mega corporations, known together as Iron Fist. The most powerful of these corporations is Tekken which controls what used to be The United States and is run by an honorable CEO, known as Heihachi Mishima. In the danger filled Zones of Tekken City, known as The Anvil, we meet our main hero Jin Kazama who has to be one of the ballsiest guys on the planet. I mean this guy smuggles a hard drive through a damn shooting gallery so that he can buy his girl a bar of chocolate. Desperate for attention or for sex, you decide. Unfortunately his latest smuggling job goes bad and leads Tekken Police, led by Heihachi's son, Kazuya, straight to his home and his mother. When his mother is killed, he seeks vengeance on the man he believes to be responsible, Heihachi, and it doesn't take long for Jin to enter the Tekken tournament to get just that.
There's no demon lord, there's no master plan to take over the world as Tekken is already in control and there's no secret genetic experiments creating super soldiers using the fighter's DNA. Jin just wants to deliver the vengeance that his mother deserves and the other charcaters from the games either side with him or just get in his way. Thankfully though, the movie manages to work by almost never slowing down on the action, the gorgeous women and the incredible fight scenes. There is a lot of brutal fighting in this movie. The fighting made a UFC Brawl look like a Power Rangers Christmas Special. Every fight scene in every other video game movie is pure garbage compared to this and yes, I do include Mortal Kombat in that statement. Normally I would be pissed when an adaptation strays away from its source material, but the movie was so much fun and so interesting that I just couldn't care. I wanted to care, I went in expecting to tear this movie apart mercilessly, but I couldn't.
Jon Foo plays Jin Kazama with perfection and carried his role of the revenge lusting pretty boy very well. Ian Anthony Daniel was menacing as Kazuya Mishima and made for a great villain. And I have to say they couldn't have found anyone better for Heihachi than Shang Tsung himself, Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa. He got the look and the personality of the character down flat. One character that will also be debated by hardcore fans is Christie Monteiro who in the film is not brazilian. However, kelly Overton is gorgeous, a great actress and her female role was given a much larger part than she ever had in the game franchise so to be honest, I didn't really care about the whole brazilian thing.
Tekken is a film that will most likely be compared to 2 other video game adapatations, Mortal Kombat & DOA. But where as MK focused more on its mythology and DOA on nothing of any value, Tekken focused on Mix Martial Arts beatdowns and a fast paced story with a few turning points that will have you glued to seat for the duration of the film. So overall, how does Tekken measure up to the competition. Well so far the only good video game adaptations I've seen up until now were Final Fantasy: Advent Children, Mortal Kombat & that's about it. Tekken strikes hard throughout its entire 1 hour 26 minute runtime. Tekken's gritty action scenes and well-paced story makes it my favorite Video Game Film to date. Watching it, I kept having Nostalgic flashbacks of The Karate Kid, Mortal Kombat & Bloodsport. What saddens me the most is the fact that horrible videogame films like Legend of Chun Li, Alone in the Dark & The Resident Evil Trilogy were all aloud to have theatrical releases and this film went straight to DVD. WTF? I don't get it, I just don't get it at all! What imbecile in Hollywood allows these things to happen, explain it to me.
But anyway, I thought this movie would be a standard, horrible, video game adaptation and I stand here saying that my intuition was wrong this time. The movie was a lot of fun and as long as you don;t go in expecting it to be exactly like the game with a boxing Panda, you should have fun as well. That's right I liked it, bring the hate mail!
Final Rating: 8/10
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Written Review)
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn is a serious test in patience, especially when it hits its third act. However, if the first two acts of this film don't put you into an agony-induced coma, I don't know what will.
Since 2008, Stephanie Meyer's glittering vampires and CG'd Teddy Bears, that evidently are allowed to Pass for Werewolves, have disgraced the movie going experience, leaving a legacy of ridiculous dialogue, wooden acting, nonsensical plot points and poorly written characters behind them. Oh wait, i'm sorry, it's not behind them. This was only Part 1 of Breaking Dawn, which means that come next year we will have the displeasure of another entry in this meaningless series of films. I have seen all of them up to this point and they offer nothing of any value or substance. It astounds me how, not just children, but adults could eat a movie like this up and call it a good time.
Breaking Dawn Part 1, follows the marriage of Bella Swan & Edward Cullen. So naturally, the film opens with the wedding and the preperations, including a scene of Edward trying to talk Bella, the supposed woman who is his "Reason for breathing", out of the whole thing. He feels bad, you see, because years and years ago, he killed potential rapists and murderers, making the claim that "They Were Monsters & so was I." So at this point, we have been given the origins of a Vigilante who has done nothing in these movies but mope, sparkle in sunlight and stare at the series' main love interest in a way that would make any NORMAL human being feel uncomfortable and violated. After four films, Edward Cullen, played by Robert Pattinson, has gone through no change. He's still a vampire, he's still pale, he still hasn't learned how to tweeze his eyebrows and he still has no personality to speak of. With that said, why does this film go through the trouble of giving this bland, uninteresting character a back story? Especially one that shows us that at one point in his life, he did something valuable. The fact that he evidently went from being some ridiculous vigilante to being a pale, emotionless nothing really makes me yearn to wrap my lips around the barrel of a shotgun. If that was his origin, that would have been nice to see in the first film as it would have given the character a tad more depth. Not enough to sustain a boring, tedious mess like Twilight, but at least its a little something as opposed to the whole lot of nothing we were given.
But obviously, this news of Edward once being the 1920's version of Batman doesn't affect her decision to marry him in the slightest. Why? Because Stephanie Meyer needs to sell more books in order to keep her brainwashed fans happy. I guess Bella likes being with a guy who has no personality. The wedding goes as planned and there's even a pointless dream sequence with the entire cast dressed in white as bella walks down the aisle. The next thing we see is The Volturi at the wedding. You know, that group of Vampires who had no place in the series at all, but kept showing up for..."INSERT REASON HERE!" After a clip of her and Edward covered in blood, standing on the bodies of their wedding guests, Bella finally wakes up and we get the real wedding. I guess the film felt that footage of The Kardashian Wedding wasn't good enough to sustain whatever fans this series may still have left. But, the newlyweds set sail for their honeymoon, on The Isle Of Esme, where they attempt to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately, after he unintentionally puts a bruise the size of my thumbnail on her arm, Edward decides that he is a monster and can't have sex with her ever again. Even after she begs him and walks around the house wearing close to nothing, he only wants to be safe and play chess for their entire honeymoon. This was the point in the film, where I stood up in the theater and threw my popcorn angrily at the screen. This was absolutely ridiculous and served no purpose to anything that comes later. But the poor and only sexual experience they will ever have does serve a purpose as Bella soon discovers that she is pregnant with Edwards demon spawn. Because as we all know, one of Bella and one of Edward, just isn't enough for some reason.
The rest of the film involves the decisions to make about Bella and her unborn child. Hell, after a Voodoo Woman comes to visit (don't ask) Edward only referes to her baby as a "Thing" & and "Abomination". His words, not mine and certainly not Bella's as she wants to keep the child that is tearing her apart from the inside out making her even more anorexic by the second. But Bella's old friend, Jacob is still around and is he even more annoying than ever. Taylor Lautner, like so much of the cast, is not a good actor in any way, shape or form. He keeps one blank emotion on his face, no matter what emotion he is conveying. He always keep the same look. I do give him more credit than Stewart & Pattinson as you can tell that the man is at least trying to make his atrocious dialogue work. Not to mention, he has had the only somewhat bearable character in this entire series. Jacob is at least supportive & attentive when it comes to Bella, two things that Edward has not been in any of these films. In this film, he even goes against his entire wolf pack (or as I like to call them Care-Wolves) in order to protect Bella from any harm. In a way, this makes me hate the film even more. Bella makes the statement early on in the film that "There are things that I can say to you, Jacob. Things that I could never say to Edward. That is how much you mean to me." If this statement was true, then it makes me sort of sick as to why she didn't just marry Jacob. But, to revise a line from Edward in the films opening, "Whats a bad movie without some Drama!"
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn is like being at a wedding you never wanted to go to and discovering that you can't eat the food and that there's a cash bar. The acting is bad, the story (if there even was one) is atrocious and the characters go from being stupid to just being disgustingly insufferable. I wasn't invested in the wedding, I wasn't invested in the romance, I wasn't invested in Edwards baby mama drama and don't even get me started on a Care-Wolf falling in love with a baby (and i don't mean a friendship-like love either). Life is plagued with many questions, how far can we go in life?, What makes us fall in love?, what makes us human? etc; But if people keep listening to the terrible messages brought on by Stephanie Meyer in The Twilight Saga then we are never going to find the real answers to any of these problems. So not only is Stephanie Meyer a terrible writer, she is slowing down the progress of all mankind. Well, Breaking Dawn Part 1 is here people, and sadly, it's having it's way with mankind's corpse.
Final Rating: 0/10
Since 2008, Stephanie Meyer's glittering vampires and CG'd Teddy Bears, that evidently are allowed to Pass for Werewolves, have disgraced the movie going experience, leaving a legacy of ridiculous dialogue, wooden acting, nonsensical plot points and poorly written characters behind them. Oh wait, i'm sorry, it's not behind them. This was only Part 1 of Breaking Dawn, which means that come next year we will have the displeasure of another entry in this meaningless series of films. I have seen all of them up to this point and they offer nothing of any value or substance. It astounds me how, not just children, but adults could eat a movie like this up and call it a good time.
Breaking Dawn Part 1, follows the marriage of Bella Swan & Edward Cullen. So naturally, the film opens with the wedding and the preperations, including a scene of Edward trying to talk Bella, the supposed woman who is his "Reason for breathing", out of the whole thing. He feels bad, you see, because years and years ago, he killed potential rapists and murderers, making the claim that "They Were Monsters & so was I." So at this point, we have been given the origins of a Vigilante who has done nothing in these movies but mope, sparkle in sunlight and stare at the series' main love interest in a way that would make any NORMAL human being feel uncomfortable and violated. After four films, Edward Cullen, played by Robert Pattinson, has gone through no change. He's still a vampire, he's still pale, he still hasn't learned how to tweeze his eyebrows and he still has no personality to speak of. With that said, why does this film go through the trouble of giving this bland, uninteresting character a back story? Especially one that shows us that at one point in his life, he did something valuable. The fact that he evidently went from being some ridiculous vigilante to being a pale, emotionless nothing really makes me yearn to wrap my lips around the barrel of a shotgun. If that was his origin, that would have been nice to see in the first film as it would have given the character a tad more depth. Not enough to sustain a boring, tedious mess like Twilight, but at least its a little something as opposed to the whole lot of nothing we were given.
But obviously, this news of Edward once being the 1920's version of Batman doesn't affect her decision to marry him in the slightest. Why? Because Stephanie Meyer needs to sell more books in order to keep her brainwashed fans happy. I guess Bella likes being with a guy who has no personality. The wedding goes as planned and there's even a pointless dream sequence with the entire cast dressed in white as bella walks down the aisle. The next thing we see is The Volturi at the wedding. You know, that group of Vampires who had no place in the series at all, but kept showing up for..."INSERT REASON HERE!" After a clip of her and Edward covered in blood, standing on the bodies of their wedding guests, Bella finally wakes up and we get the real wedding. I guess the film felt that footage of The Kardashian Wedding wasn't good enough to sustain whatever fans this series may still have left. But, the newlyweds set sail for their honeymoon, on The Isle Of Esme, where they attempt to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately, after he unintentionally puts a bruise the size of my thumbnail on her arm, Edward decides that he is a monster and can't have sex with her ever again. Even after she begs him and walks around the house wearing close to nothing, he only wants to be safe and play chess for their entire honeymoon. This was the point in the film, where I stood up in the theater and threw my popcorn angrily at the screen. This was absolutely ridiculous and served no purpose to anything that comes later. But the poor and only sexual experience they will ever have does serve a purpose as Bella soon discovers that she is pregnant with Edwards demon spawn. Because as we all know, one of Bella and one of Edward, just isn't enough for some reason.
The rest of the film involves the decisions to make about Bella and her unborn child. Hell, after a Voodoo Woman comes to visit (don't ask) Edward only referes to her baby as a "Thing" & and "Abomination". His words, not mine and certainly not Bella's as she wants to keep the child that is tearing her apart from the inside out making her even more anorexic by the second. But Bella's old friend, Jacob is still around and is he even more annoying than ever. Taylor Lautner, like so much of the cast, is not a good actor in any way, shape or form. He keeps one blank emotion on his face, no matter what emotion he is conveying. He always keep the same look. I do give him more credit than Stewart & Pattinson as you can tell that the man is at least trying to make his atrocious dialogue work. Not to mention, he has had the only somewhat bearable character in this entire series. Jacob is at least supportive & attentive when it comes to Bella, two things that Edward has not been in any of these films. In this film, he even goes against his entire wolf pack (or as I like to call them Care-Wolves) in order to protect Bella from any harm. In a way, this makes me hate the film even more. Bella makes the statement early on in the film that "There are things that I can say to you, Jacob. Things that I could never say to Edward. That is how much you mean to me." If this statement was true, then it makes me sort of sick as to why she didn't just marry Jacob. But, to revise a line from Edward in the films opening, "Whats a bad movie without some Drama!"
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn is like being at a wedding you never wanted to go to and discovering that you can't eat the food and that there's a cash bar. The acting is bad, the story (if there even was one) is atrocious and the characters go from being stupid to just being disgustingly insufferable. I wasn't invested in the wedding, I wasn't invested in the romance, I wasn't invested in Edwards baby mama drama and don't even get me started on a Care-Wolf falling in love with a baby (and i don't mean a friendship-like love either). Life is plagued with many questions, how far can we go in life?, What makes us fall in love?, what makes us human? etc; But if people keep listening to the terrible messages brought on by Stephanie Meyer in The Twilight Saga then we are never going to find the real answers to any of these problems. So not only is Stephanie Meyer a terrible writer, she is slowing down the progress of all mankind. Well, Breaking Dawn Part 1 is here people, and sadly, it's having it's way with mankind's corpse.
Final Rating: 0/10
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